I am a bridesmaid for one of my good friend’s wedding. Yes, another bridesmaid dress to schlep into the “donate” pile. Anyways, I’ve always been pretty accepting with my clothing size. No problem. So we go in to get fitted for our dresses, again no problem. Take the measurements lady, hell add some inches, wait! not too many but go ahead. I’ve got this in the bag. My gal pal Katarina tells me “now remember bridesmaid dresses run small”. I shrug her off and say “no prob. It can’t be that bad”. Oh, hell was I wrong.

So one blind Tuesday I call and order my dress and she tells me my bust size puts me in, *disclaimer - not revealing my real size. I said I was accepting not delirious*, my normal size. My hips also put me in my normal size. Oh but wait! There’s more!! Your WAIST puts you in a dress 8 times your size. Yes. 8 sizes BIGGER. Is that even possible? I knew my habit of beers was bad but this puts it right smack in your face…so I sat there on the phone, with my tail in between my legs and ordered the dress that was waaay to big for my bust (which I’m positive was an insult) but would fit my waist nice and snug.

I think I need a drink.